My Philosophy

When composing a work of art or thought, I have to walk a fine line: on one side is selling out, on the other side is egocentricity. I try to keep my work original enough to be interesting, but socially conscious enough for people to enjoy it. There is another fine line: between catchiness and distastefulness. I try to spice up my work enough to make it catchy, but not cross the line into being distasteful — i.e. too lustful or violent or dark. I don't avoid dark subjects, but rather dark viewpoints on these subjects.

Walking these lines is a conscious effort. But I think it pays off in the long run. Please email me if you have any disagreements.

A Short Biography

I was born in Chicago. When I was three or four, my family moved to the Pacific Northwest. I now live in Moscow Idaho.

I was homeschooled for the first 11 years of my life. Upon finishing my homeschooling, I enrolled in Junior High in order to make friends. At about the same time, I was introduced to Buddhism, from which I draw much of my philosophy.

I was also involved with Cub Scouts, then Boy Scouts, and completed my Life Scout badge and many merit badges. Boy Scouts was a formative experience, because I could talk about anything during the long hours when there was nothing to do but talk.

When I was about 17, I began worrying about my mental health. I had olfactory hallucinations and was constantly afraid of one thing or another. My friends also seemed to be slipping away faster than I could keep track of them.

When I was about 20, the experience of losing friends, losing money, and becoming more and more afraid of everything, combined with paranoid external influences, culminated in a crisis. I felt strongly that I had to leave town. So I hitchhiked to California, which was refreshing to some extent, but I had to return to Moscow, and the trip was taxing on some relationships.

Another crisis came when I was turning 21. The injustice and frightening appearance of everything led to me leaving town again, intending to kill myself, but instead arriving in Portland Oregon. There I was refreshed again, this time by Portland, and the influence of two women who were very kind and treated me to dinner on my 21st birthday. But when I failed to make a living there, I had to again return to Moscow.

Staying with my family, I again grew more and more upset, until I had an argument with them and left the house, again intending to kill myself. This time I was taken to a mental hospital. At the mental hospital I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. But more importantly, I realized that about 95 percent of what I had been perceiving was influenced by wrong perspectives. All the paranoia, sense of loss, and fear stemmed from my wrong perception of reality. Thus, I concluded, schizophrenia is almost completely mental, and only a small part of it is physical. Once you have the courage to discard wrong ideas, you feel a lot better about the world. (Interesting that it takes courage, since wrong ideas do far more harm than right ones.)

How about you, do you have any wrong ideas? It's not just schizophrenics who have wrong ideas.

The Buddha said: "O bhikkhus, there are two kinds of illness. What are those two? Physical illness and mental illness. There seem to be people who enjoy freedom from physical illness even for a year or two... even for a hundred years or more. But, O bhikkhus, rare in this world are those who enjoy freedom from mental illness even for one moment..." (qtd. in Walpola Rahula's What the Buddha Taught, 2nd ed., pg. 67).